A Semi-Homemade Guide to Parenting?!?

Thanks for all the comments and concern about the health of the Semi-Homemade Family! I'm happy to report that we're all feeling well, although we got an unplanned break from work & school last week. Mr. Fix-It's grandmother passed away and we spent several days in OK, celebrating her life and spending time with family.
Meanwhile, the girl that sits by me is healthy and back at work, and The Company has sent out Flu Communication, with helpful tips, such as:
~Try to avoid close contact with people who have the flu
I already feel better......

So.... I feel like I've got lots to share with you, but I've got to get things back in order at work and home first. Until then, I'll share with you a little reading material I came across...

This is totally up my alley because:
a - I like to laugh
b - it's possible I have an unusual love of pirates
c - I'm the mom who never read any of those baby/toddler books...
I don't know how to whisper to my baby... I probably don't have the happiest baby on the block.(although mine were pretty happy, in spite of their clueless momma!)... I wouldn't know the first thing about training my kids to sleep (does that make me UNbaby wise?) I really never had time to read those books, and never really cared to (gasp!) I, ahem, like to find my own way. But.... I did read a Jenny McCarthy book or two... if it's funny and something I can relate to, I'm there! Life is serious enough as it is, right?

Therefore, The Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why You Should Raise Your Kids As Pirates and 101 Tips on How to Do It. Here's what it entails:

Never before has raising a pirate been so easy! If you're like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates, but just don t know how. In Guide to Pirate Parenting you'll learn:
~Ten benefits of raising a pirate
~At what age your child should be able to remove a bottlecap by taking out his glass eye and using it as an opener
~The best place to maroon your disobedient child
~How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child s hair
~The difference between plundering and pillaging
~How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner
Each information-packed section ends with, Your pirate's progress, a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.

Hee hee!! Happy Monday - and more to come soon, I'm so ready to discuss Halloween with y'all!

Swine Flu Outbreak

Seriously?

As of Monday, a new girl started on our team, and she so happens to sit directly facing me. As in, this close to me:

Tues morning she went home sick. And today.... yes, you guessed it.... she called in to report that she has the swine flu. Poor thing - I think she's going to be great in this job, and she's as nice as can be!

In the meantime..... I've got to make a run to Target tonight for MORE sprays, antibacterial anythings, masks, fans (you guys had some great ideas!!) And try not to go all Office Space on anyone....

Uh, would it be in poor taste?

To spray lysol directly at the woman who sits next to me... who is the LEADER of our team.... who has come into work sick today? So sick that she stayed home yesterday and saw the doctor not once, but twice today? Keep in mind my Office Space type setting here.... a sea of cubicles.... I am one cough away from something deathly, that is for certain.

And while I've got the super duper cleaning spray out... would it also be inappropriate to spray it in the general direction of the sick kiddo who was just ushered straight from the dr's office to her mom's cubicle? Okay, I'm a working mom and I totally get the challenges of having sick kiddos (I mean, how often do I come here to chat about it?) But, come on! It's almost 4:30! GO HOME and take your flu-infested kid with you!

I never was a germ-a-phobe before...... but that was before Dallas (and probably alot of other big cities, too) started reporting so many deaths of children to different strands of flu. I stayed home with G-man yesterday until he was cleared to return to school (with bronchitis... not the flu... let me be clear!) I most certainly did not bring him to the workplace to get even sicker (and oh, yeah... infect my coworkers.)

Despite the deadline I was just handed that is due tomorrow... I'm going to scoot outta here around 5:30 and run home to safety.... where at least I love and care for the germs that are waiting for me. ;)